Catch 22

Let me paint the picture for you.

I've graduated, I'm currently temping somewhere where I fit in, and I am really enjoying going to work (I could do with more hours and it being a little closer to home but that's me being picky). I'm on two companies books. The first company, from now on will be known as A, has got me my current position and various other positions.

Company B, has got me three days work in 2 months. A month ago they asked to put me forward for a full time job starting at the end of October, the location is difficult to get to and the job mundane. But me being the naive, poor graduate leapt at the opportunity. I heard no more until last week, they had an interview for me.

At this point, I start worrying, and feeling trapped. I don't want to do this, I'm doing it for other people. I said yes because I didn't want to let anyone down. This may seem dramatic but I start to feel helpless and a bit weepy- for those who don't know me this is what I was like for many years when I tried to learn Math.

The answer to my problem is simple, ring up and tell them you've changed your mind- get withdrawn from the interview.

But then I go in a circle of, if I do that I'm letting people down.

It took sensible words from my parents and my usually rational mind returning to realise A) This is not what I want to do and B)It doesn't fit my criteria at all.

So why am I worried. I have the power here. Just say no. So deep breath, phone call, answered company B's questions about why I didn't want to go, and then...done. Everything seems to silly now.

It's taken this wobble to conclude that these companies would be lucky to have me, I can afford to be picky (not financially, but I'm lucky in that my parent's are helping me out a lot at the moment). Why should I worry about these little things. From now on, it has to be right for me.