What am I thinking? Nothing? Is that what I'm thinking. Well no, I can't be thinking of nothing, because I am thinking about thinking of nothing. I wonder what it would be like to simply be blank. No thoughts. Peaceful? or perhaps threatening?
If you think of nothing then surely you will just end up walking into roads after failing to register that you needed to stop at the sidewalk. Or you'd walk straight until you get to the point where you can no longer carry on and just repetitively stroll into a wall. Maybe you'd fall?
I wonder if someone would take pity on you, try to help you onto a treadmill so that you can pace in safety.
But then with all this walking you need nutrition. You need to take on board what your body is trying to tell you and process that information, bringing about the consequence that you decide to eat. I'd like to believe that once again, some kind stranger would assist you, and put you on a drip or something.
It's interesting that this person will always be a stranger to you. I wonder if you could feel emotions.
This world of thoughtlessness seems to be objectively scary and child-like. I don't like it.
How are you?
"Fine, Thank you."
Why did I say that. I am anything but fine. See the smile on my face that is not real, fake fake fake.
I want to cry. I am angry. You chatter on, ignorant.
But that is the way I want it to be. I don't want you to be sympathetic, and I don't want your help right now. I want to be alone, wallowing in the un-fineness that I feel.
This dark cloud casts a shadow inside me. I can feel it moving closer, lightening cracking in the sky.
My mask slips the second you leave.
I don't need to pretend anymore.
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